Are you trying to hurt me?
by MarinaM
Summary: 11th chapter is UP! Auron x Rikku. While travelling with Yuna and the others, Rikku realizes, that Auron is not just cold meanie to her. What is this feeling? READ this fic! R&R! Pretty please?
1. A dream is a dream

_Just in case.. I dont OWN ANYTHING! XD_ _Not the FFX, not the songs lyrics ... _

**A dream is a dream**

_What can I do for you?  
What can I do for you?  
What can I do for you?  
I can hear you .. _

I woke up to sound of the falling rain. After few minutes of silence, Ive finally opened my eyes. It was dark. Not a single sign of sunlight. Complete darkness. I couldnt even see my own hand . It scared me a little. Im not sure why, but it did.

Attempts to understand if it was morning already or not - failed. "Ok, just forget about it then," I spoke to myself. "Just stand up and go outside to see, morning or not. Boy. I sure can be stupid sometimes." When I tried to find a way to get off the bed, my hand touched something. Or was it, SOMEONE ..? I spent about 3 minutes trying to figure out what the f'ck? After FINALLY realizing that it was someone, I didnt want to think about WHO it was. It was the strong, yet relaxed body of a man.

"OMG! Shit! Its Auron! " I felt almost like the lightning had just struck me. " Wha--? " I havent been in such confusion for about a good 2 years, thats for sure! Then another surprise appeared before me.. I was _naked _, and so was he!

"No! This cannot be happening!" My mind screamed it out loud. "What in the name of Spira! " I could feel my face turning red, dammit. "Think Rikku, THINK! WHAT happened yesterday!" The situation was TOTALLY unamusing, but I heard someone chuckling lowly. It was Auron. Smiling at me, he must've figured out why I was acting like this.

"You dont remember, do you?" he asked softly. "Im not surprised, to be honest. We - you and I - drank WAAAAY too much yesterday." A slight smile appered on his face.  
I dont know how I knew that, since it was dark as Hell, but I felt that smile, which was adressed to me...

_Far beyond the hazy borders of my heart  
I could see a place that's something like this  
Every now and then I don't know what to do  
Still I know that I can never go back .. _

"… Rikku …" Someone was calling me. "Rikku."

I opened my eyes quickly. It was Auron. I smiled gently at him, after remembering last night. I must admit, I WAS confused, but still … It felt like Heaven yesterday - er, today. His lips, his touch, his smell, his body - EVERYTHING. So gentle. It felt like we had known each other for eternity…

"Auron." I called out to him.  
He just looked at me, staying silent.  
"Thank you…"  
"For what?" he asked, obviously shocked. It was seen in his eye.  
"For tonight, you silly!" I smiled at him.  
Then it was my turn to be shocked.  
"Did lightning strike your head _that_ badly!"  
"Wha--?"  
"You felt asleep here, near Yuna's room." He said it coldly, and walked off somewhere, not even interested in me _or_ my … dream?

_But the things I've seen in those hazy dreams  
Can't compare to what I'm seeing now  
Everything's so different  
That it brings me to my knees  
And though I know the world of real emotion has surrounded me  
I won't give in to it  
Now I know that forward is the only way my heart can go .. _

Still shocked, I felt like Id lost something. My peace of mind, maybe? Or maybe .. a piece of my heart?

I stood up, even though I was really depressed. "Heck! Why am I feeling this way!" I was getting angry at myself. "A Dream is a dream. Nothing I can change about that … Not very comforting, eh..?" That was my last thought, before Yunie called out to me...

Her fragile figure came close to me. I saw her smile. I just … I wish I could see her smiling forever. But beneath that fake, but still pure and comforting smile, there was nothing but sadness. I felt it. Not sure what I was thinking at that moment, I simply kissed her. Short and light, sister-like kiss.. She looked at me, surprised. "Heh he hehehhe he … he. Just dont ask Yunie, just dont ask!" With those words, I ran out of the Inn.

There he was, Sir Auron, the Legendary Gurdian, standing on top of the hill, looking at the sun. The cool breeze of Mi'ihen Highroad in the early morning was wonderful. My mind started to spin with strange thoughts, once I placed my eyes on that tall, strong, calm, handsome-- whoa! "Stop that, Rikku!" I could feel my cheecks turning a bit red. "It was JUST A DREAM ... Forget about it! I know you can …"

_I don't plan on looking back on my old life  
I don't ever plan to rely on you  
Even if by chance everything should go wrong  
You'd come anyway and try to save me. _

I came up to the hill where Auro-- Sir Auron was standing.

"What ya up to?" I said happily, trying to make my mind to forget about everything that happened.  
As usual, there was no response from this solitary man. "You dont like to talk much, eh? Or is it, that you don't want to talk with me?"  
For few seconds Auron and I kept silent. Then, his answer followed, and honestly, it surprised me.  
"It doesnt matter. You, Yuna, Tidus ... makes no difference. I wouldnt speak anyways." Cold answer.  
But, DUH! I was too naive. That is not the Auron that was in my dream.

So we sat, silently … staring at the sun. I couldnt pull myself to start a conversation, but then again … It was better that way. It was better, right? RIGHT?

To my surprise, nobody bothered us for the whole time we spent together - if you could say " together ", that is ...


	2. A Delay

**A Delay **

When everybody was ready to leave the Mi'ihen Highroad, Lucil, The Leader of Chocobo Knights ran past us like the wind on her pretty birdy. She was followed by her troops. Of course, that rush of Lucil and her troops intrigued us instantly.

For some reason, I felt like something _BAD _was going to happen … But, I wasnt willing to share that thought. Not even with my precious cousin, Yunie.

All of us went to speak with Lucil. The red-haired knight seemed really busy and troubled. _Not good.. _Auron was the first one to start talkin'. "Why do all my bad thoughts have to come true?" I asked myself, after listening to Lucil. The North path of Mi'ihen Highroad was closed, due to some strange stuff including fiends … _Great. _

"So like - ummm .. what are we going to do?" I asked, that quastion was adressed to Auron though, because _he _didn't seem very happy about our sutiation.  
But The Guardian kept silent and the question was answered by Lulu.  
"We have to stay here for one more night. Nothing can be done about it. "  
"Well, you seem calm, ya? " said Wakka. It was easy to see, he was worried about it. Worried about Yunie's pilgrimage.  
"Well I dont mind! " I answered with the merriest voice of all voices. But it really wasnt the right time OR place to be so happy about the delay of our journey.

Hours tend to pass real quick. It was already late evening, almost night, but not yet. Everyone was in their rooms. I was alone …

_Though from time to time it's an upward climb  
All I know is that I must believe  
'Cause the truth I'm seeking  
Always was inside of me. _

… I sat on my bed, staring on the silver moon for hours, it seemed ... But it was only 10 minutes.

"I must get some sleep." I ve closed my eyes, my face covered with the soft pillow. I feel like Im about to cry … "Why? Why do I want to see _him _so much?"

My attempt to sleep was a _total _failure. My mind was focused only on Auron. My heart starts to feel very funny when I think of him and me - ahem. No.

"_SLLEEEEEEEEP!_" I almost yelled. But forcing myself to sleep didnt help one bit.  
"Ive decided. Im going to see Auron now. Im not sure what is _wrong _with me, but - " My eyes were tightly closed. I refused to let myself cry. "God, please .. Give me strength, to face him."

So I went on to see the handsome, yet cold-as-ice Sir Auron.


	3. Middle of the Night

**Middle of the Night **

There I was, standing in front of Auron's room. So scared, I could feel my heart beating like crazy, but yet … I _want _to see him ... I _need _him tonight. "Perhaps, Im being selfish." I spoke silently, so that no one but me would be able to hear it. "But then I .. I really _dont care_!"

Finishing the conversation with myself, I knocked on the door.

_And if I find the real world of emotion has surrounded me  
And I can't go on  
You are there the moment that I close my eyes to comfort me  
We are connected for all of time  
I'll never be... _

No answer. "Maybe he is asleep?" So, I tried my luck to open the do-- "Its not locked?"  
So, I went in ..

"Emm, Auron ..?" I asked while standing in the vestibule, Im not that impudent to just walk right in.  
_No response once again. _  
Standing there, in one place wont change nothing, right? Right. Sooo … I entered his room further, than the vestibule.

"From all of the surprises--! "Auron's gone." AHA! Thats why his room was opened. Silly me! " A slight smile showed on my face.  
But then again, where did he go?  
"Where could that man have walked off to? In the middle of the night?"

I waited in his room for some time, hoping that he might come back soon. Once again, my hopes failed to come true. So, I walked off to find him ...  
I left the Inn. _Hopefully_, no one saw me. I could imagine, if - for example - Yunie had seen me! "Where? Why? What for? and etc." Really? I didn't think I would be in the mood to explain it all to her ...

I took a few steps forward, walking away from the Inn. The morning and the night on Mi'ihen Highroad doesnt seem to have many differences. Except one thing. It was _cold _. The breeze from the sea was almost freezing. Perhaps, I was _too _naive to walk outside without a jacket. But it didnt concern me now.

.. I saw him on the same hill, where we sat this morning. I came up to him. It was obvious that something had happened. His face showed a complete opposite expression from this morning. It seemed, that he was angry, but yet again … still … a small sign of sadness...

"Go away," said Auron, as I tried to say somethin. "Its not the right time for little girls to walk outside. Go to bed."  
"No," I answered simply.  
He looked at me with curiosity showing in his eye. After a little "staring contest", Auron turned away from me, looking at the pale moon again.  
"I wont go inside." I said it with so _creepy _avoice, that it made him turn in my direction once again.  
"Whoa--! Creepy!" I said to myself. "I should talk normally-- uhh ..." "Can I sit here? " I asked like a frightened child. "--with you? "

I could feel my knees shaking. _Not good. _

"Do as you wish." He said it so coldly, that I felt the chill going through my spine. He took a final glance on the moon and stood up to leave. Its not what I wanted him to do ...

"I had a dream--!" That statement of mine, made him stop, but he didnt turn around ... So I continued. I knew, that he was listening.  
"I saw _you _in my dream--" I slowly stood up. "--and now, I feel the need, to tell you about it."

After few moments of complete silence, he turned around to face me. I just wished that he hadnt ... I could feel the tears flowing on my cheeks. _Oh God, **please **.. do me a favour. Dont let him see that Im crying ... Boy. What a shame! To cry in front of Legendary Gurdian ... _

For a while there, I wanted to disappear from the face of Spira. I didnt _want _to tell him about the dream - about anything! I just wanted … To sit beside him tonight. To _feel _that **he **is near. No words needed ... BUT ME AND MY BIG MOUTH!

"So? What was _so _important in that dream?" his calm voice asked me. Auron was walking slowly in my direction. Every step that he made was echoing in my heart. Each of those echoes were followed with tears. "  
"_Why am I crying? Do I … do I need this man so badly?_" I kept asking myself over and over again.

Auron stoped in front of me. I tried to hide my face somewhere - but where! The only clever decision that my mind was able to think of was: "_turn around. _" If I turn around, he wont see my face! AND those red eyes of mine ... Hey! Im a genius!

As I tried to do as I planned, Auron stoped me ... by placing his gloved hand to my shoulder ... holding me back. I closed my soaking-from- tears wet eyes and turned away from him. "Show me you face," he said, squeezing my shoulder a bit. I just shook my head, which means "No." He asked me again, two more times, but after another refusal, he placed his both hands on my face and turned it to face his dark, bottomless eye.

I felt like I was going to drown in my own tears - for a moment. Holding me like this ... _Making _me look at him … Its too much for me to take.. Even though Im used to hiding my feelings - mostly, sad feelings - I just _cant _do it now! Not in front of that man! Not in front of Auron! … No … No … No. No! NO NO NO!

My mind just switched off and my body went into "who-the-hell-will-care!" mode, as I embraced Sir Auron. _Stupid. _It made me cry even more, leaving small wet stains on his crimson coat.

_I couldnt hear anything ... _The time has stopped. Like a old, worn-out clock.


	4. Sometimes I hate You

**Sometimes I hate you**

I opened my eyes, facing nothing more than dark sky. _"Dont tell me it was another dream!" _I stood up slowly. I was covered with a familiar crimson coat.

I closed my eyes again - curling into a ball, hoping that it was not a dream. I felt that I was falling a sleep ...  
_Did I sleep for eternity? It feels like it .. _

I woke up. This time in my room, with the soft, a bit wet from tears pillow over my head. "So it was a dream then ..." I sighed. I felt so broken this morning.. and so sad ... My eyes were red, as I looked closely into the mirror. _Dammit. _

"Rikku? Were you crying!" without a welcoming "Good morning!" phrase, asked a confused Tidus. That statement made everyone turn in my direction with curiosity showing in their eyes ._.. Made everyone turn, except Auron. _

I looked at him with plea "Turn around ... **please**!" But miracles dont seem to happen - he walked outside.. The door slammed behind him.

_You cant understand, what you did to me.. But I allways try to hide my agressions deep inside..._

That was the last drop of my patience. My whole was body was trembling with rage. _"I have had enough of your stinking ATTITUDE FOR ME! GET BACK HERE AURON!" _I rushed out of the Inn, leaving the others in total confusion. "Whats gotten into her, ya?" Yunie didnt hear him .. Her mind and heart was aching strangely when she saw the dissapearing silhouette of Rikku. _Rikku … _

Auron was walking toward the hill quickly. A few moments later, he heard a yell behind him. It was Rikku.  
"Auron!" He didnt even stop. "Why _you ..! _" The rage was burning in me stronger and stronger with every step that he made, walking away from me.

I caught up with him quickly. I grabbed his coat and turned him in my direction. "Look at ME, DAMMIT! Im talking to you!" I was _so _mad at him, I really dont know why.

"What is your _problem_, anyway! Do you always treat people around you like you treat me!"  
It must have been my lucky day - Auron answered, with his calm and cold voice. "I treat people the way they deserve to be treated." The rage and hate for his calmness was burning within me very strongly.

"So I deserve to be treated like _TRASH _? Thats what youre trying to say!" I screamed that question out at him. " I _dont_ think, that it is what good old me deserved! You know, blah blah blah .. " ( lots and lots of talkin)

Auron wasnt even _listeting_! He just hmphed like he always do, and resumed his way to the hill.

" E ryja ahuikr uv drec pimmcred, Auron.. " I run to him and this time-- forcefully turned him around. I saw a different expression on his face now-- the " _not-gonna-take-any-more-of-this-shit _" expression.

I think .. I made him _mad_. **_Really mad. Oopsie._**


	5. Sometimes I like you

**A/N: Took a while to finish this one. But since Ive managed to finish it... enjoy! ) Oh! And thank you soooo much for such kind reviews! Much love!**

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**Sometimes I like You**

_Well, my head is still on the right place.._ I thought while walking the stone road to the Temple of Djose. I took a short glance at the figure that was walking

behind me. _I guess, I need to do something more major to make him yell when hes angry.. _

It is true. When we had a "nice" conversation, he really has a clear " _not-gonna-take-any-more-of-this-shit _" expression. I thought Ill die that day,

but Auron just hmphed and walked away. ( He will never change, will he ..? ) And now, here we are! Walking to Djose like nothing happend! Thats what

I wanted to believe.. Auron wont even look at me now. He wont even 'hmph' at me anymore. _So I guess .. sigh everything is **not **ok ... _

" Here we are. The Temple of Djose. " Yuna said cheerfully.

_Whats she is so happy about? _I wanted to ask Auron, in order to make him _see_ me, but then again, I changed my mind. Better keep my mouth shut.

When hell feel like it, then hell start a conversation. Yup. Its the right thing to do!

" Argh! " with a loud sound I layed down on the ground in the Chamber of Fayth ( where guardians wait..? -- I forgot how that place is called ) . " Borriiinggg. "

I felt cold gaze on me. I knew it was _him_. But I tried to avoid any sorts of contact with that meanie. At least, for now.

Few minutes later, I heard the same " laying down " sound, inches away from me. It was Tidus. He didnt seem so happy. Yeah.. Come to think of it. None of us

are happy now. The failure of the Operation Mihen .. Sin banished people again ...

Tidus turned on his side and looked at me, straight in the eyes.

" Rikku.. "

" ..? " I havent any idea that he wanted to talk after the failed Operation. He hadnt talked at all, all the way to Djose, but now..?

" How many died today..? " He seemed defeated.

" Umm-- I really dont think .. " I looked at the ceiling. " ... we should talk about it... Its not a very happy topic. Dont you agree? "

Our eyes met. Looking into his sad eyes made my optimisstic mood instantly vanish. I felt the sorrow. The full realization of the situation.. And the situation is not

good. Sin is destroing everything that was precious to the people of Spira..._ I felt pathetic. _Why? I honestly dont know.

The door has opened and Yuna walked into the room with her Guardians. She was worn out, ready to faint. We all knew how difficult it is .. But Yuna chose it, so she has to do it.

After talking to Yunie, Lulu accompanied her to the room, where she and the Summoner will be resting. Tidus and Wakka decided to share the room. Kimahri refused to go to sleep.

" Kimahri will stay on guard tonight. " Auron wanted to refuse, because he figured out with whom he will have to share the room. With annoying Al Bhed girl, in other words-- with me. To tell the truth, I wasnt against it...

" Sir Auron looks tired. Dont worry. Kimahri will make sure that this night will be peaceful. " The blue furry cat smiled a little bit.

_Yeah... For Yuna or anybody else it will be.. But for me. Nevermind. _

" Fine. " He responded to Kimahri grumpily and walk off to the last room, which was left...

I sighed, and followed him.

" Thats just great! " I sounded defeated. " From all of surprises in Spira--! "

Yeah. cOOl. There is only one bed in this room. Auron and I looked at each other.

" Im not sharing this bed with you! You big meanie! " I showed my tongue to him. At that act, he chuckled lowly.

" Fine. Do whatever you please.. " He set in arm-chair in the dark corner of the room. " Ill sleep here. "

I raised an eyebrow, " Whatever I please..? " I layed on the bed, looking in his brown eye. Playfulness sounded in my voice.

" Whatever you please, that wont include _me_ in it. " He said it rushly, coldly.. His voice 'killed' my joy and playfulness instantly. I looked away, I didnt want to

show him my eyes. Eyes-- the mirror of my soul, and I was hurt by his acting.. I didnt want to show him that.

The ticking of clock in silence was becoming unbearable. I couldnt sleep. And I know that Auron isnt sleeping either. I just _know_ that.

_Now what? _I asked myself, staring at the ceiling. _He is just a little **too **close to me. I cant stop thinking about that dream. Oh boy. I **must** sleep.. And track those naughty thoughts away. **NOW! **_

Haha.. Thats so easy to say.

" Cant sleep? " I jumped a little in surprise. Auron was _talking _to **_me_**.

" Yeah. I guess.. " I sighed. " .. I cant. "

Moment of silence, but it didnt last long.

" Why arent you sleepin? " I asked, turning on my side, to face the older guardian. " Something is bothering you? "

He didnt answer. To tell the truth, I was not surprised. He usually stay silent with me, then talk. _Am I so annoying ..? _

_3 hours later--_

Still cant sleep. This is becoming a torture of some sorts. My body was really tired, but my mind wont allow me to sleep. _Insanity. _I gazed at Aurons sleeping

figure. _Even hes asleep_. I took one more look at his face, and stood up. I tried to reach the chair where he was resting, silently. To some miracle, I havent woke

him up. _Phew_.

I kneeled before him, staring in his face. _Handsome_. He is handsome. Ive noticed it long time ago.. But I never got a chance to tell him that. That I cared about him, that

I dream about him. And I probably wont say it. _Ever_.

I put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. _Lullaby_. Just like lullaby. I could feel my eyelids becoming heavy.. Few minutes later, I was imprisoned in a peacefull slumber.

Auron awoke for reasons unknown, maybe because he felt extra weight on his body. His eyes widened from shock when he saw small fragile figure curled in a ball, lying on his body. He blinked a few times then took a look at the childs face. So peacefull. Like an angel.

**_" You know Rikku, sometimes, I like you. "_**

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	6. Expect the unexpected

**A/N: Another chapter! Please enjoy:) Thank you soooo much guys for your reviews! Muja oui!

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**Expect the unexpected.**

I woke up early in the morning. It was still dark outside, a little foggy even. When I slightly opened my eyes, my attention was cought by Aurons calm breathing beneath me.

I smiled to myself, blushing a bit. _It feels so... nice_. giggle. _Auron.. _I looked at his sleeping face. No worries, no anger ... He was calm. I smiled again and slightly kissed him. _Your lips.. are so sweet. _I whispered. _I hope that Ill have a chance to taste them one more time. _

I raised my body easily and quietly, trying not waking him up. When the mission ' get-of-Auron ' was completed succesfully, I walked to the window, staring into distance.

Thinking about nothing in particular... Few moments later I understood that I was singing .. not loud.. Calm, yet sad sounds sliping from my lips.

" Sad melody. " Auron said.

I jumped in surprise, turning around to face Legendary Guardian. " You were listening? " My face was turning red as I giggled nervously.

" You woke me up by your singing. " Auron stood up, puting his collar on.

_Trying to hide your emotions again..?_

Auron was ready to leave the room, but before doing so he looked at me-- straight in the eyes and said: " Youre not so heavy as I thought. "

" Wha--? "

But I didnt get a chance to finish the question, Auron already left.

" So where to? " Tidus asked, smiling brightly.

" The Moonflow. " Lulu said grumpily. She sure was annoyed by that blond fella. Tidus saw it in her eyes and closed his eyes. _Defeated. _

" Ahhhh! Come on Lulu! Try to be a little more nice, you know? " I ran to see if Tidus isnt crying or something.

Lulu only sighed and rolled her eyes.

_10 minutes later--_

I was chatting with the boy from Zanarkand, ( he seemed to recover from Lulus harsh words. ) when I heard that someone called my name. Not loud.. I turned aroud looking for that 'someone' who was calling me. To my surprise, it was Auron! I blinked a few times, then asked whispering : " ... me..? " He only bowed his head. While walking to him I tried to read _any_ expression on his face. _That damn collar..! _The collar that he always wear, shielding from the others--from the world .. _was annoying me_!

I cant read anything off his face! ARGH!

I came to Auron and stopped 3 feet away from him.. Auron raised an eyebrow when he saw that Im looking on my feet.. not at him.

" Rikku. " his voice was echoing inside of me. " When you speak with a person, you should look at him, nobody tough you that? "

" ! Y-y-yes .. " I raised my head quickly.

He sighed. " Why did you do what you did in the morning? "

" W-what I did..? " Ive done a lot of things in the morning by now..

" You really _are_ silly, or you just _act_ like that? " He looked at me piercing my head with his gaze.

" Umm-- Im not really sure that I know what ya talking about..? "

Another sigh from Auron. " Why did you fall asleep on me? "

My eyes widened like watermelons.

He continued: " And why did you kiss me? " He said it so blankly, that it seemed as if he got kissed by a cute girl every day.

When he finished the question, my jaw opened. My face was burning with a deep blush. I opened my mouth to answer, but the cat got my tongue..

" I.. I .. " I couldnt talk any further, the words wouldnt come out. _Damn! He wasnt asleep! What now! _

The older Guardian was waiting for the answer.. I could feel it. But then _she_ appeared! Yunie! My saviour! She had just exited the Temple. I ran to her, leaving Auron behind

without an answer. I hugged my cousin tightly, burying my face in her chest.. _Yunie _... I whispered. _Yunie.. _Everyone stared at me and Yuna. I bet my cousin was confused no less..

" Rikku ..? " Yuna lifted my face with her gentle hands. " Whats wrong Rikku dear? "

" Yunie .. I really need to speak with you about something. I need your advice.. "

I buried my face in her chest again, not willing to face anyone, especially Auron.

" Guardians. " Yuna began to talk. " Can you wait a little longer..? Well delay our departure for a few minutes? Is that ok with you? "

" We waisted enough time already. " Auron grumped. " What is so important that we have to wait more? "

" My cousin needs-- "

" Yuna, if you expect to delay your pilgrimage every time _she needs _something.. Well never reach Zanarkand. Now stop this fullishness and lets go. "

Auron took off quickly followed by Lulu and Kimahri.. Yuna looked at my face..

" Rikku.. Im sorry. But Sir Auron-- "

" Its okay.. Ill tell you this some other time. "

I received a smile from Yuna as an answer.

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	7. Destiny is in our hands

**Destiny is in our hands.  
**  
_After the failed chance to confess my feelings to Yunie about Auron, we moved on to the Moonflow.  
_

" What!" Tidus and I asked Wakka synchronously.  
" Hey. It was not my idea.. But you heard what he said, ya? " blitz player was on the defensive. " The shoopuf is not ready.. We-"  
" -'ll have to wait for an hour or so. " Lulu finished the sentence for Wakka. She sat on the bench staring into distance. " So our journey delays once again. "

" Everything can't be smooth all the time, you know? " Yuna said appearing out of nowhere as it seemed. She sighed and joined The Black Mage on the bench. Her eyes focused on me though..

I could read the question in her eyes, she was wondering what I wanted to talk about. But I just shook my head lightly, telling her that it is not the right time or the place. My cousin smiled in reply.

_Then I decided to take a look at the Moonflow lilies again_. So I walked off, leaving everyone behind. The lilies were breath-taking beautiful. I had never seen anything like this before in my entire life. They were overwhelming with purity.

" So pure ... " I said referring to the flowers.  
" Who is? " I thought I'd fall into the water from surprise, but I didn't turn around. I knew who was it. I could never forget his voice, even if I really wanted to. It was Auron. He walked closer and sat beside me, looking at me instead of lilies.

_I could feel my cheeks burning with blush.  
_

" Staring at the person like that is not polite, no one ever taught you that? " I tried to keep my voice calm.  
Without answering he leaned forward. My eyes widened from shock.. I knew now, that my face is red like a tomato. He whispered _' forgive me ' _softly to my ear... After that he stood up and took off without giving any explanation. I only closed my eyes and said to myself _' apology accepted '... _I realized later that I was smiling..

_' You are not such a meanie after all, Auron.. '  
_  
**This hour lasted for eternity as it seemed.. But thank God, we're on the shoopuf and soon we'll reach the other bank of the Moonflow.  
**  
This fact doesnt made me happy, though. We move closer and closer to the end of Yunas journey. In other words-- to her death. I shut my eyes tightly in order to trace these thoughts away.

I dont want my cousin to die.. but I am her Guardian. I am the one who is leading her to her own death. She says, that this is her destiny, to defeat Sin and bring joy to the people of Spira. But I dont believe that God decides our destiny.

**_Destiny is something that only you can change. That's what I believe in. _**


	8. Moment of Silence

**A/N: Hello there! I finally decided to continue this fic! I am sorry for my spelling errors guys. I really am. At first I thought to make it a last chapter of this story-- but then again... I think there will be atleast two more chapters! Enjoy!:)

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**Moment of Silence**

We reached Guadosalam in quite short time. As we entered the city, we were greeted by some old man named Tromell. He looked more like a walking dead if you ask me.

His long fingers looked terrifying along with his strange looking hands. As soon as the conversation was over, we had no other choice but to accept the invitation and come inside the Manor. Not just any Manor, mind you—Lords Seymurs manor. As we had no other choice but to wait till Tromell will arrange the meeting with His Grace, I had other ideas in mind.

**FOOD!** Have you ever seen so many food? I didn't. So delicious!

I was the only one hungry at the moment as it seems, but it didn't emberres me at all. Right after the wonders of someone's culinary skills, all of us became the witnesses of a much greater miracle! Zanarkand! As it looked one thousand years ago. I could feel how my jaw opened and eyes were getting wider and wider with each passing moment. But then again, I swear that I have seen Auron there.. I would recognize his coat anywere… But then again—such nonsense! How could HE be there in the sphere that is one thousand years old? Rikku, you sure can be stupid sometimes.

As the demonstration was over, Yuna began to act very strange. Her face was red and she drank a glass of water without a single stop.

"He asked me to marry him!" said my cousin after regaining her breath.

"Say WHAT?!" I asked almost hysterically.

The discussion of this sudden matter went on between Auron and Seymour, but my mind was too dizzy to actually understand what were they talking about. Speaking of "mind-in-dizzy-mode", if you could only see Tidus face. It was beyond description.

After some events Yuna and the others decided to go to the Farplane. I decided to stay. If I will meet my mother there… I am not sure what I might do…

Everybody passed the gate to the Otherworld that lies ahead. Then I realized that I was left alone with Auron…

"Why did you stay?" I asked not hoping to get an answer.

"Beyond those gates lies an answer that I seek not." He took a short glance on the misty aura that was covering the gate. Then he turned around to face me. "Rikku."

"Hm?"

"Have you accepted my apology?" he asked while standing up.

"I have." I turned around from him, cause I felt really strange. My heart started to beat really fast as he came closer.

So there we stood.. wordlessly starring into nowhere. I don't know what was he thinking about at the moment. But I knew for sure that I was busy calming my heart…

I wanted to talk about Yunie, about our journey—but nothing came out. I turned around to take a short look at his face, but to my surprise he was looking at me! A short moment of silence that lasted forever. I felt some indescribable power forcing me to confess. But I could not… I came to realize that we are way too different. As we stood—two steps away from each other, it felt like we were separated by thousands of miles. Our hearts and our souls were too far… Too far for me to declare "I love you". Too far even for an embrace. Ah, the malice… I could feel the words flowing in my mind, but they slip through my fingers before I could pin them down with words. It hurts so much. Finally his words broke the unbearable silence.

"There is something I need to say … " he lowered his voice almost to the whisper.

"… yes?" deep down in my heart I wanted to hear those sacred words. But its just not going to happen.

"Will you… listen to my story?"

Our eyes met and I felt a cold breeze running through my spine.

"It will be an honor."

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**Now hurry up and review!** **The 9th chapter is on the way! **


	9. Secret

**Had to edit the chapter, sorry. Corrected some mistakes. Enjoy! **

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**Secret**

He turned around, and began to speak. His story became more and more puzzling with each spoken word. He told me about his journey with Lord Braska, how they met Sir Jecht. I was listening very carefully when Auron came to the point of the story where they met Yunalesca. He paused. Stared at me. Expression on his face changed slowly but surely. He became very worried and, for reason unknown, quite disturbed.

" I do not know if I should go on with my tale … " Auron had whispered into distance.

" Hey! Don't cut it off like that! " I never liked the way he does that. "Tell me."

My eyes were full of confidence; I have bitten my lip as I looked at him.

" As you wish. But don't blame me, if you wouldn't like some things you will hear now. It's a secret.. "

Just when he was about to tell me the secret of his, Yunie and the others returned from the other side of the gates which lead to the Underworld. Deep down in the corner of my mind I cursed her for perfect timing. I turned to Auron and gazed at him with plea. He placed his gloved hand on my shoulder, bent forward and whispered softly to my ear : " I will share my secret with you. I waited long enough for this chance, I won't miss it. "

I was shocked by his comforting words and I am not quite sure what was happening for next few moments. I vaguely remember anything..

I never wanted to leave Guadosalam, actually, well at least, not the way we were leaving. Nobody in Spira hates this place as much as I do. That sparkling sky, that roaring sound. You figured it out, did you? I am talking about Thunder Plains. Curse this place along with it's weather!

" How much further 'till Macareia? " Tidus asked, all soaking wet. Heck, who weren't wet by now?

" _Macalania_. " Lulu strictly corrected him.

…

" Wait. Where's Rikku? " Red-haired blitzplayer was the only one who noticed my disappearance.

Everyone, especially Yuna started to worry, reason is very clear – Thunder Plains obviously are dangerous. Nobody doubted that walking off alone was not a good idea. When Auron offered that he will look for a missing 'crew member' no one was against it.

…

There I was, sitting on a stone near a large, bottomless as it seems, puddleWet almost to the bone, I stared into the distance. Unnoticeably, even for myself, I began to sing. The same song which I sang in Aurons room, starring into the window. It was a misty day, back then. Now, it's raining. How long will I last? How much time do I need to confess? Will I ever tell him? Maybe I need some time? What time? No time left.. What will happen when we reach Zanarkand and meet Yunalesca? Why was HE so disturbed back there? What is his secret?

…

"Rikku!" I heard someone was calling my name.

When I saw his silhouette far away, I came to realize that he actually cared about me. It's such a strange feeling. It's so calming somehow. Yet again, I felt uneasy when … what was that? Was that pyreflies..that flew from his body?

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**Hope you like it! Next chapter will be the last one! Don't miss it!**


	10. Silly Child

_A/N: The 10th chapter is up! I'm sorry, but this is not the last one. The next one will be the last,maybe. ) 'Cause it really depends on your reviews and my mood, of course. _

_Anyway, enjoy! I hope you like it as much as you liked my previous work! Muja oui! _

_(I don't own anything. Characters are the property of SquareEnix) _

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Silly Child

_What was that? Were those pyreflies...did they fly from his body? _

I traced that thought away as Auron came up to me. As he was only few steps away, I could sense his anger. He was angry at me; angry for what I did. That I went off somewhere without a word to anyone. The fact that he decided to look for me by himself, certainly, means something.

I'm not quite sure what, exactly. But deep down inside, I truly believe that he…

'Rikku! ' his voice was rumbling as a thunder.

Auron brusquely grasped my arm and pulled me close. Our faces were only few inches away from each other. And there I was, thinking: how romantic this is – together in the rain!

But all those childish thoughts were crumbling beneath the weight of Aurons gaze. They were crashed amazingly quickly due to the help of the Legendary Guardian's words.

'Are you crazy!?' he growled at me, 'Do you have any idea what have you done?! Yuna, is most certainly, worried sick by now! She has enough stresses for one day, don't you think?!'

The only thing I could do was to stare into the floor, like a small child that is being scolded.

'Look at me, when I'm talking to you.'

I lowered my head even more. My whole body began to tremble, hands shaking.

'I said: look at me, Rikku!'

I took a deep breath, broke out of his grasp and right at that moment – my feelings, which were dwelling deep inside me – they just burst. And there I was shouting my lungs out, along with crying my eyes out. Saying things that I shouldn't say.

'So what's it to you! Why do you even bother coming here in the first place!? To tell me how stupid I am? Or to tell me how thoughtlessly I act?' I paused for a moment, I couldn't breathe.

Not giving a chance for Auron to speak, I continued my rather crazy monologue.

'I wanted to believe that you were my savior! I wanted to believe that I was a bit more important to you than anyone else! But you know what? Right now, I stand before you, broken. You took my heart and soul without even realizing it…And smashed it into tiny pieces by your ignorance!'

I couldn't keep it all inside anymore. The tears were choking me, leaving me without a breath.

The next moment; I could feel myself being pulled. Auron embraced me determinedly, it almost seemed longingly.

'You really _are_ a silly child, Rikku.' He hugged my fragile frame even more tightly. 'I never wanted it to turn out this way. In the beginning I wanted nothing more than to help Yuna accomplish her pilgrimage. But in the end everything went wide of the mark…'

I raised my red from tears eyes and stared at him, asking the question: 'What do you mean?'

'Don't look at me with such eyes. I can tell what you want to ask me.' He smiled and with calmness of the falling snow that suited him like never before, he said: 'Rikku, I feel the same way.'

My eyes widened.

'Meaning..?' I leaned forward to his face, in order to give him an opportunity to whisper his answer to my ear.

Auron chuckled lowly, and instead of saying what he wanted to say, he kissed my wet and already cold neck. I pulled back in shock and blushed.

Ronin pressed his lips against my forehead, while smoothing my tousled, wet hair. I hugged him in reply, putting arms around his waist.

'I doubt that it is the right time or the place to tell you this.' Auron took my hands in his. Mine's were so tiny compared to his manly hands. 'But I care for you. I really do. I felt this way from the very first time I saw you.' He let go of my hands and took few steps back.

'Auron..?' I asked in confusion.

'I don't want to hurt you anymore. So that is why I ask you to …'

A terrifying roar of thunder interrupted him, meanwhile the flash of lightning blinded him for few seconds. During that moment that lasted merely for few seconds, Auron heard a scream, my scream of pain…...

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Suspense is good, yesh? 


	11. Something You Like?

A/N: I'VE DONE IT! People I DID IT! Another chapter! is very happy NOT THE LAST ONE! Enjoy!

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_**xX – Something You Like? – Xx**_

It hurt like hell. I could feel the burning sensation rushing throughout my whole body. I wonder why I can't seem to focus my sight. There was a vague silhouette wearing crimson in front of me, but curse this all, I can't see who it is.

As if pressed on a rewind button, it occurred to me, that it was Auron kneeling before me. He seemed very worried and shocked. Whatever could've happened? _What is it? Why are you so troubled? _

I could feel a sharp pain somewhere below my ribs, when he tried to lift me up. _What in the blazes? _

…

'Rikku!' I could've sworn that I heard Yunie's voice a moment ago, but it seemed rather far away. Wait, where am I being carried? It took me a lot of strength and willpower to cope with that burning pain I was undergoing now.

'What do you mean? Is it that bad? Lulu, you can't be serious!'

_Okay, people! Mind telling me what in Spira is going on with me? __I would give ya all a cookie if you tell me._

'Just how did that happen?!' _was that Tidus speaking in all mature-like way?_

'There was a lightning strike few feet away from us. The flash blurred my vision for few moments, so I could not see how it _actually_ happened, but when I managed to regain my vision, all I saw was Rikku lying on the ground with that piece of rock that sunken into her flesh.' _Auron, what are you talking about?! _

'The lightning must've hit the nearby rock, thus resulting in breaking it to pieces. One of them, apparently, injured Rikku.' Lulu was trying to sound calm as possible, but her voice was shaky.

'What are ya doing people! You just gonna stay and watch that thing sticking out of her, ya?! We have to stop the blood loss, what is wrong with ya all?' _Wakka..? What do you mean by 'that thing sticking out of me'?_

'I know that Wakka. But we can't act now without a slightest analysis of the situation. What if by removing that object we will **worsen** the situation? Did you even think about that?' I could feel Lulu was about to break and shout. _Strange… I feel kinda sleepy… I wonder why? _

'No!' Lulu shook me a bit, preventing me from closing my eyes, 'you can't sleep, Rikku.'

Gathering my whole might together I managed to spill out: 'Then get that thing out of me already, so that no one would cut each other's throats!'

…

I opened my eyes only to find my cousin sitting beside me, looking extremely pale. Moving was painful, and I could forget about getting up from the bed for time being. The injured area of my body was now covered with bandage, a really big one, stained with blood here and there.

'We stopped the blood loss.' Yuna finally spoke, 'and all I could do for you was put you to sleep. Black Magic finally came in handy.' She smiled a bit.

'No wonder it was such a peaceful slumber!' I tried to cheer her up at least a little bit with my 'happy-go-lucky' attitude. 'Thank you, Yunie. You're an angel.'

'Lulu and Sir Auron were the ones who took up the doctor responsibilities upon their shoulders; I only did the magic part.' She curled her lips into a tired, yet very gentle smile yet again, 'you should really thank them.'

'Don't worry, I'll certainly will.' I said before adjusting myself to a more comfortable position on the bed and closing my eyes; drifting off to the dreamland again.

…

I woke up to the strange feeling that I was not alone in my room. It felt kinda creepy.

'Rikku.' A man's voice bounced throughout the room, catching me by surprise. 'How are you feeling?'

'Oh-! Auron… it's you. I almost began to believe that now I'm hearing voices. You know, '_I see dead people_' like thing. Hahaha! Ha.' I coughed a bit.

'Mind if I stay a little longer?' he asked, placing his body on my bed.

'O-of course! After all, you just came in.' _Rikku, you dumb girl! Why are you blushing like a total idiot now? _

'I still have to say what I haven't finished that time…'

'Straight to the point, aren't ya? That's what I like about you! Err- I mean..! Um, wellll…..!'

'Oh?' he sounded amused for a moment, 'is there something else you like about me that I never heard about?'

'I guess so…' I muttered out quickly. _Is it me, or he is closer to me now? Since when did he already share the __**same bed with me**__?! _

'So?' he asked a bit curiously as he may seem; while casually removing his coat, the black vest followed shortly after.

If it was even possible to get my face a brighter color of red, then I guess now was the time. My ears were burning into a crisp, my hands itching to embrace the stoic guardian in front of me.

'I recall,' he began his speech, leaping underneath the same blanket I was covered with; 'you once said that you would never share the same bed with me.' _Was that a _**grin**_?_

I was having a surprise shortage of words at the moment, regardless that my brain was working at its limits to produce the actual answer to this.

'I did?' I asked in disbelief.

'Indeed.' _So why are you just sitting there? HUG ME ALREADY! _

I was taken aback by sweet sensation on my lips, his brushing lightly against mine. I knew that something would turn out not right in the morning, since Auron shifted his position, now looking down on me from an above position. He smiled slyly as I wrapped my hands around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

I knew that my ribs would kill me tomorrow, but rational thoughts be damned.

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**I remembered that this fic is rated T, so decided to skip smex part! D: Gomenasai!**


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